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tv   Red Eye  FOX News  October 9, 2012 12:00am-12:59am PDT

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a dog. >> kimberly: bye-bye. that is it for us. happy columbus day. the air is dirty in new york. that was mine. love being with us. see you tomorrow. welcome to "red eye." let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> we will preview thursday's vice presidential debate. will joe biden's tendency cause deceit? a fair and balted report theks. plus, what hollywood power couple is getting separated and getting a divorce? the short story coming up. and finally, what happens when bill schulz goes out on on the street to get people's opinion on a giant perris wheel. hopefully they gut him like a pig and then waive his end
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trails as he screeps in unimaginable paper. >> thanks, andy. >> welcome. >> how is the little bus doing? >> very well. november 28th to december 3rd starting in florida through alabama and tennessee. but as you know i have made some hiring mistakes. every time i go to check in to see how things are going they never seem to be working. thng we have some tape. >> andy, that's the driver. >> is that right? >> yes, that's the driver. >> i thought that was ernesto. >> ernesto had a tragic accident. >> i see he spread his love of dance before that happened. >> i want robert to hold this up and aim it at his mouth. >> again?
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>> yes. >> you are the amazing caw -- collasal man. there you go. now go like that. >> boy, oarvetion boy. boy, oh boy. let's welcome our guest. i am here with fox business reporter sandra smith. and he is known all over the country for his gespacho. it is joe derosa. he has a cd called return of the sun of depression. you are an idiot. what an idiot. in aruba he is considered a hammock. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if hilarity was a laser tag i probably did him in a black warehouse. he and joe derosa have teamed
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up to write a book called -- >> and bill burr. >> and it is called -- what is it called? >> "cheat, a man's guide to infidelity." >> we will do a segment on it later. i don't know now. >> a block, the lede, that's the first story. >> well, this has started off perfectly. look at michael leer. somebody -- look at my collar. it is a new game after obama went lame. its crapiness is taking its toll, a horse. mitt romney pulled even with the press after the debate. the new numbers show they thought mitt was mate tee yes, sir, the biggest debate since the early 1500's. at least obama can joke about it. on sunday he spoke about a studded l.a. fundraiser after performances by earth, wind and fire and katy perry, aka, frazee face. >> everybody here is incredible professionals and such great friends. they just perform flawlessly
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night after night. i can't always say the same. >> i like his american flag wings. that was neat. well, while bam could get laughs, "saturday night live" had trouble. their debate sketch was nearly cut with seth meyers noting, quote, it is boring enough when they are talking about all of this and how it will affect americans, but when you are sitting there trying to pull comedy out of it, it is really bad. look at twitter. there are about 10 million people who did a better job. let's go live to "red eye"'s senior political correspondent, demon cat. >> i find that quite arousing. joe, you are the expert on
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performances. what advice would you give obama? assuming you saw the debate and were appalled by it. how could he be so awful? how could he bounce back? >> there is no way to bounce back. this happens every four years. they exhaust their lies during the campaign, and then when four years goes by and they couldn't make good on anything, then they start fumbling. they already did the lies. and then the other guy goes, i will do it, and then we elect him and then he is fumbling. >> it is like the guy who dates a girl and nothing works anymore. you screwed her over so many times that you can't keep screwing her over. right? >> the weird thing is becoming the president when you are not the president i think is easier than actually -- obama has to be the president and run to be the president again. when he ran he had nothing to do. he was on one of these like you and just showing up and giving stump speeches and making money. now he has to make sure that
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terrorists don't kill us and try to be the president. i think it is actually good that this happened. now he is the come back kid. now he is the underdog. when he comes back, knocks it out of the park, it is going to be like when the red sox beat the yankees in 2004. they couldn't do it. it is not gonna happen, never been done. then he does it. oh my god. the greatest thing ever. >> he will either be the underdog or eat a dog. because he ate one in indonesia. remember that, people? i will never let you forget he ate a dog jie. he ate a dog? >> he ate a dog. that's why he can never be president, again anyway. you made a good point, but all presidents have to deal with that. they are all going up against an incumbent with two things to do. but that's why we elected him. he directed his poor performance in front of a bunch of stars. isn't it a factor he only feels comfortable in front of mega celebrities.
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>> and he made that joke on a tele prompter. it wasn't like it was an impromptu joke. he didn't even laugh after. when you make a joke you have to relax a little bit. he was not relaxed. it was very forced i felt like. but what i want to know is you just showed the recent poll of people who thought that president obama won versus -- or lost versus mitt romney. who are the 20% who actually thought that president obama won that debate, right? there were 9% undecided? i think obama no matter what will have these people that are just -- he has such a stropping following that i don't know the debate suedes the voter. >> that was obviously the population of kenya, his home country. >> that's not true. he ate a dog, but that's thought true. high -- he is from chicago. >> after obama's performance, shouldn't he just quit the race? >> i don't know. you can't quit being black. >> i meant the political
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race. i should have been more specific. >> i didn't know where we were going with that. >> and which race would he quit? >> exactly. he is sort of on the fence when it comes to being black or white quite literally. you are not supposed to laugh after you say a joke. you hang out with a lot of ego maniacs that are not that funny. >> thank you for correcting me, but you have to have a sense of humor if you are going to try to do that. >> he likes to think of himself as a better version of andy levy. >> it doesn't take much. >> andy is pretty miserable. >> i forgot what we asked you. >> we connish ifed obama is -- we confirmed obama is black and white. >> you are comedians or so you claim. no real proof of that yet. you have writers on "saturday night live" who are paid a minimum of six figures and
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some seven figures. it is hard for them to make -- he was complaining about how hard it was to get something funny out of a debate. if you sat on twitter during the debate, i was laughing throughout the whole thing. there are people who don't get paid that making great jokes. >> the only logical i can think of is the debate was so ripe for jokes that you would feel like you were plagiarizing almost. somebody was doing something funny and you were transcribing. >> if somebody paid you a million dollars you would find a way to do it. >> a million? >> i don't think they get millions. >> well, jim downy does. >> you shouldn't say who is making what. >> well, he has been there forever. i assume he makes a lot of money. he has been there since the 1970s. >> i find it hard to believe they couldn't find a lot of deb. >> i think they are all one ups. twitter is like 140 characters. a snarky line does not sketch mate. the lead writer was conservative. so he is having a legitimate problem finding it. there is probably an issue. >> i think they should have done the end of eight mile and
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romney playing eminem. that's what they should have done. >> they should have hired you. >> they could have went at it with papa dop. >> they should have brought back the writers who did the cone head sketches. >> amazing. >> remember how they were from france? no they weren't. >> the worst one note sketch was the guy who was like the donkey who was constantly making the donkey noise? >> jim brewer? that was a hit. >> that drove me crazy. >> goat boy? >> it drove me crazy. >> it was two things. he was goat boy, but he talked about the 80s. remember the 80s? that was the show he was doing. >> you like jim brewer? >> i like jim brewer, but i liked dwoat boy. >> i liked jim brewer, but didn't like goat boy. i'm sorry. who is chris kataan? >> mr. peepers. >> are you talking about the monkey guy? >> the monkey guy, i didn't
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like him. >> i didn't like that either. >> i don't like little men that climb up into your arms. >> i am a big fan of goat boy, but with you on the monkey. >> will the gap widen after ryan clobbers biden. the new york times paper reports that the vp is hunkering down as thursday night's debate approaches. going through debate camp in a delaware hotel, they have them there. reading paul ryan's book. the obama camp knows it needs a strong perf from captain nerf and he expects biden to come at him like a cannonball. that's a round black thing. while the repubs are counting on the in depth knowledge of stats and ab exercises to come across as impressive, they are hopeful he will end up sounding like a due fuss. anyway, you know who else is under going rigorous training this week?
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>> there is a chris kristy joke there, but i am not going to make it it because i like mr. mr. chris stey. >> there is a joke for me there too. >> you are svelt under all of that. >> these vice president debates, they don't usually matter. they are a good spectacle, but could this year be different? >> this is crazy uncle joe biden. people are look forward to this because we know anything can come flying out of his mouth, and if ryan is doing anything in his practicing, i would hope that they are practicing somehow to bait him into saying or making one of his classic gasps. he doesn't have to be on the offensive. >> or glaffs. >> i got you. >> since you are already talking, i want to play a little game i like to call let's pretend joe knows anything about current
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events. how badly does the obama campaign need this to be a big win? >> they need it bad, greg. they need it real bad. >> all you had to say was confidence. >> that's all political pundits do. i can't wait for this debate. this is like watching two loon gnaw particulars talk to each other. it is going to be like watching somebody that is going 9/11 was an inside job and yelling at a guy going this is god's america. i cannot wait. >> it is basically out in front of robert's apartment. >> what do you think? what kind of advice would you give biden? >> i don't even know who he is. i haven't even seen him. all i remember honest to god is i saw them when they won and now. i saw them last week. >> you are america. >> i don't know what he does. i don't know what he did. >> it is true. >> i don't know where he has been. did he get to go away for awhile? >> that's the problem with the bp. you have no impact at all. >> what does he do?
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>> he doesn't do anything, but stay alive really and try not to break anything is the key. the only thing that the vice president can do is something worse. like the whole thing is just to do nothing, to make sure you are out of people's way. you don't embarrass yourself. >> he has done that. >> i think he has done okay. >> he stayed out of people's way. i haven't seen them at all in four years. >> it is the most insignificant job in politics. >> don't you think that is because he is doing everything and the president is the face man? he is busy running the country. >> this is from the conspiracy -- >> do i have to spell it out for you? >> i think that's what strategists do. >> he looks like he owns 18 chick fillets and -- chick-fil-a's and he is now running the country. >>- q. i it looks really good -- >> it looks really good. you have been covering the vice presidential debate since 1956. what do you expect from this
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one? >> well, i don't care as much about the debate. what they need to do is a little wheel world -- real world type behind the scenes. this is my favorite part of the story. the maryland democrat is playing mr. rhyme and he is speaking style and a pension for slashing arguments wrapped in a smile. he has a fake rhyme he debates with and the guys do an impression of him. this could be better than an snl sketch. >> the big debate is paul ryan's youthful nerdiness versus joe biden who seems like he would play a politician and boardwalk empire. and that will trull p the nerdiness if he comes in with a swagger. if he swaggers too much, you have a problem. >> you never want to swagger too much. my father told me that, my third father. >> don't you have a swagger -- don't you ever swagger too much, kid. >> swagger and sway, that's what they say. >> robert's joke was a little
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dry. i needed an extra swagger line. >> little sweetheart. >> it is robert swag hag. >> i should have teased. >> should the miserable comedians be taxed at a higher rate? sandra smith discusses her new book, how to fix america one joe derosa at a time. but first, why is danny devito separating from his woif? i will ask him -- from his woif? i will ask him when i get home.
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were the photos a big no no? a new york city guidance counselor has been fired after 12 years with a department of en location due to a plus photos of her d cups. tiffany web, whoa, says she
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posed for bikini and lingerie picture when's she was much younger. they are always much younger. who does it when they are older? modeling several years before she became a teacher in 1999. she quit modeling three or four years before. the 37-year-old got the ax last december after a student showed an image to murray bertram. that's the name of it. wow, that kid is a fink. she is suing for wrongful material nation and violation of her first amendment rights. said the one member of the committee that fired her, quote, the inappropriate photos were impressionable. it has an adverse influence on her ability to council students and be regarded as a role model. i wonder how this cat feels.
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>> i don't know. >> i know the show couldn't have existed 20 years ago without youtube. >> exactly. we would have nothing, robert. robert, as a former lingerie model, do you worry this may hurry as you reach your pinnacle of success? >> i dated one of those girls, by the way. did you see her? >> she is gorgeous. >> she shouldn't be involved -- >> oh come on. >> you can't be that pretty -- how much guidance do you really think -- >> oh my gosh, la, la, la, la. >> you know what i saw every day? it was a fantasy she would make me stay after and make me paint her nude. that's all i thought about. i learned nothing for four years, nothing for four years. teachers should be ugly. that's how we learn. >> sandra, you don't agree? >> that's an unacceptable
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thought. it is an unacceptable consideration to the story. >> but funny. >> listen, there are a lot of beautiful people in the world that can have professions and be teachers and guidance counselors. i mean, i'm just throwing this out there, but she was getting paid way above the national average for a teacher. >> $89,000. >> i wouldn't doubt the school system was already looking for a way to get rid of her. there is nothing wrong with taking a photograph -- she had a previous career. she was a model. she was clothed, in lingerie, in a bikini, big deal. >> you can't ask a kid to go to the chalkboard and do a problem if she is the teacher. >> that's such a good point. the funny thing about that is you didn't even need a hot teacher for that to be a problem. >> it was just a gust of wind. >> you were probably the same guy who complained if you had an ugly teacher because you couldn't pay attention. >> i didn't have to look at their german shepherd mole.
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i just did my math problems, seventh grade. i was good. if i had her for a teacher, oh my god. can i go to the bathroom every eight minutes? >> she would be the most popular guidance counselor. >> i should have july ped in sooner. jumped in sooner. bobbie said my thing. >> i don't like he made h his thing. i already said it. >> why did you steal that. let me start the clock on the series of bad one-liner jokes i wrote. people, it wasn't so long that teachers were giving kids beatings. i don't think it is so bad if they are giving them [bleep]. caw hear me people? can you hear me people? are we all here together? >> it is just a different type of beating. that didn't make the show. bobbie is gone. >> what's your other one? >> i have one for every story in this block. these stories were impossible
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to write. i couldn't think of anything but bad jokes for these stories. >> bill, what do you make of this? >> on one hand, everyone in this country is wining about how it is so hard to find good educators. we find one, so says her record, and what do we do? fire her for a couple of p i can tours that are nothing more than bikinis, lingerie bikinis. having said that, i am not sure a counselor is a teacher. but whatever type of counseling she does, she apparently does it very well. >> i never had a good guidance counselor, and they never told me anything. the real villain in this is the kid. if you are a boy, why would you do this? you would blackmail her. you would say, mrs. web, do you see these pictures, we are having private counseling. >> i doubt this kid ran to the principal and said, look, look, look. he was in the closet with six
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other kids. they were laughing about it and saying look at this. and then somebody says, show us what you have and made the kid rat it out. that's what they do to kids. they make them rats. >> that's what they do. >> what is this? >> what is the code word for laughing? >> i am trying to watch. >> you were never in a tree house with a playboy and everybody laughs? >> funny. >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news .com. if you have an animal doing something kind of interesting and not boring go to fox on video. still to come, the half time report with andy levy. he should be canned. he is not attractive. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by benches. the seats made for two or more
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people often in a park. thanks, benches.
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welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. >> hi, greg, how are you? >> good. >> don't care. >> we had enough with the bus today.
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trying to get robert to recreate the amazing caw loss sal man. he didn't go for it. >> all right. you take your chances. president obama in hollywood, post debate. bobbie, you said it was good he tanked the debate, and now he can be the come back kid. i agree with you. no one will remember he was so bad in the first debate if he wins the ones toward the end. >> it is like "rocky 3" when apolo creed lost and then he had to go back to the ghetto and play some funk emu sick. you know what i mean? run on the beach. "uh polly 3 --" apolo 3" died though. >> you polly creed -- uh polly creed was "rocky 3". >> he loses and has to come back and ding, ding, you know what i mean? >> my brother has a good theory on that. rocky one and 2 had good acting. rocky 3 goes to cartoon land. rocky 3 is a live action
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cartoon. >> that's a great theory. >> thank you. >> i like the way deniro gained all of that weight. >> what are you talking about? >> i was talking about rocky three. >> you just made andy mad. >> because i like film. >> yes, in your underwear. >> do you cry at the end of rocky movies ? >> i don't have that physical capability. >> andy made it sound like it was his girlfriend. >> pretty much. >> greg, you brought up that young obama ate a dog. >> yes. >> maybe the reason he had a bad debate is he ate the dog that ate his homework. >> a joke i used on "the five" two weeks ago. >> i don't think you did. >> you can look it up if you like. >> i don't know what -- "the five" what? i don't know what that means. it doesn't make any sense.
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>> you thought obama's hollywood speech in which he joked seemed forced. i feel like that is where he kind of belongs. he seems much more comfortable giving speeches or being on shows like "the view" running the country sometimes. >> but again, he was with his crutch, the tele prompter. he was able to make a joke, and he was able to please the audience. let's not forget there was nobody on the other side, right? for the first time we saw in four years we saw obama up against another side. whether he is able to come back -- we keep saying he is going to be the come back kid here. he has shown he is incapable of a debate format here. >> doesn't he seal -- he goes on a show like "the view" and he seems personable and likable. >> nobody is challenging him on "the view." >> but that's what i'm saying. that's his comfort level. >> elizabeth hasselbeck was an up treppe pied reporter during that show.
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>> she got yelled at for it. >> he chimed in with an i don't know. i don't know if you caught that. >> i thought i made a valid point and you looked at me like usual like i am drawing things on my face and screaming up into the sky into a transmitter. when you make promises you don't live up to four years prior, what are you going to say during the debate? we see this happen every four years and nobody calls attention to that. if you go out four years ago and go, we are going to have a water slide on every corner. we love water slides in this country. i am gonna do it. four years later everybody goes, where are the water slides. you are like, oh yeah i -- dash i did say something about that. >> joe, are you under the impression if you went to the dictionary and looked up valid point it would be a point made loudly? >> how i look forward to your misanthropic wit every time i am on this show.
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>> in all seriousness, you found it is hard snl couldn't find the comedy in the debate. >> yes. >> i sort of see their point, other than obama's poor performance there wasn't a lot -- it was like there were uh -- it is not like there were not a lot of weird things, other than making fun of jim lehrer there wasn't a lot of comedy. >> they felt like they were making fun of a guy in a wheelchair. they are like, what are we going to do? pound on somebody and be mean or be repeatitive. they have never strayed from doing a repetitious joke in a sketch. >> they made fun of sarah palin. she is as dumb as they come. >> you mean charming. >> month after month they kept beating and beating. >> enough with the innuendos. >> they were making fun of a black dude.
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>> i am going back to picking a zit on my inner thigh. >> bill made a point that nobody is making that jim downing who wrote the sketch is not a flaming liberal. >> he is flaming. >> our viewers need to know the political [stances|instances]. >> it is only important because every article is ripping "saturday night live" for saying they want make the debate funny and giving the reason, liberals don't want to make fun of obama. the guy who wrote the sketch is not liberal. >> somebody is trying to keep a job. >> sandra. >> again? >> my next word was congrats. you were the only one to name mr. peeper. the men ignored you. >> that was me. i am a dude. >> that was bill. >> i said it, what about
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mr. peepers. >> if you said it like that i would have known it was you. >> you heard a girly voice out of a feathered hair do and you assumed it was the woman. >> vice presidential debate, is sandra you hope ryan is setting up biden for a classic gaff. i feel like you don't have to set him up for the gaff. >> wut -- but he will be so well coached not to make one. >> four years ago he didn't make any in the debate. >> in fact, i think they kill coach him to be so safe his debate will be ineffective. >> that's an interesting theory. >> joe, i don't buy your theory. i don't think biden -- this was actually robert that made this point, biden has been busy running the country the last four years. >> i don't know who he s. i haven't seen him.
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>> unless you are going to compliment him, it might be me. >> you don't buy it? >> i think you are confusing him with dick chain thee. >> wait, who is president? >> greg, you said bill has been covering vice presidential debates since 1956, and bill you said yes. there was no vice presidential debate in 1956. >> nor was there a debate, period. it started with nixon and kennedy. >> but the vice presidential didn't start until 1976. >> and thank god they finally made that happen. everyone clamoring, we need a vp debate. >> lastly on this guidance counselor thing, you said you can't ask a kid to go with a hot teacher. she is a guidance counselor and not a hot teacher. >> if you want to break down a joke and make it not funny. we can get all political people on the show. >> i just think jokes with no basis in reality are not funny. but it could just be me.
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>> your viewers are right. >> by the way, you said you used to date one of them? >> i used to date -- i did a big girl model. i don't know what they call them. big girl model? >> plus size. >> a plus sized model. big girl, pretty face. >> fatties, andy, they are called fatties. >> they are fun size. there is more to hold on to, derosa, bite your tongue. >> terrible. >> greg, lastly you think the kid was the one who marked to the principal? >> yes. >> the story came out after the exprincipal claimed a student showed her the photo. ii think there is something else going on here. >> i think they were out to get her. >> i think she has a lawsuit. >> i think she will win her lawsuit. >> if she needs guidance i am nearby. >> she has a lawsuit and a
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career in porn. >> oh no. >> she found a job teaching and i believe changed her name. >> she lives in new jersey now. >> did she change her breast size? >> you are all massage nighses. >> she changed her name because of people like you. >> i think it is great she is a teacher. there should be pretty teachers all over the world. >> she is a good teacher who happens to be pretty. >> according to her record. >> she was a lingerie model. >> i love sex. i love disgusting porn. i love all of that stuff. do you think it is a good idea to have a girl that you -- a woman that you have seen, walking the hallways, it is not a good idea. >> it is not a bad idea. >> it is something she did before she had that job. i don't see how they can fire
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her. >> it is a fireable offense when they say this is is a volatile situation we have on our hands here. >> she is 37 and she hasn't taken a photo like that in 17 years. what is volatile? >> you don't know that. >> horny 17-year-old kids. >> i'm out. >> sandra, i'm with you. i'm done. all righty, go away, andy. coming up, where have all of the cowboys gone? it is not a story. just a text i received from chris call less this morning. oh wow. what is new with "the price is right"? spoiler alert, something, and there it is, rob.
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it is finito for the devitos. danny devito rhea pearlman are separating after 30 years of marriage. the thimble-sized thespians who have three children met at
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an off road play. at 5 foot and 5 foot 1 making them 10 foot 1 together were the ultimate tea couple, a early it i just made up. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning roooouuuunnnddd. lightning round. >> joe, where were you when you first heard the news? this is devastating. >> tbreg, i knew about this weeks ago because i'm on the inside track. i work in hollywood. >> you do? >> yes, and i was upset to hear about that. >> hollywood, florida. >> i was sad to hear about the break unof -- the break up of dorito. >> >> nice. >> that's great. >> that is really good. >> dorito is really good. that may bring them back together. they can't break up if they are dorito. >> there you go.
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>> is there that hope for us if they can't stay together? they were the perfect match. they were like bookends. >> thpg they were known as one of the solid couples couples in hollywood, and everybody respected the fact this they held this bond for 30 years. but every time i see a marriage in hollywood, i have to think, what is in it for their career. and every time i see somebody married this long and they are breaking up, their careers must be struggling and they are drawing attention to themselves. it is obviously effective. we are all talking about them. who knows if they are really breaking up. >> he is doing amazingly. >> he is on "always sunny in philadelphia." and producing movies movies and directing them. >> for you who are involved in the entertainment industry. >> he is on one of the biggest shows on tv. >> i am just saying. >> as an industry insider i know what is up. >> i am just saying. whether somebody catches you, i am just saying.
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>> he has all of the publicity he needs. he doesn't need a pr guy. >> how did this story get intense? >> you are full of it tonight, girlfriend. >> how did she just turn into my wife? all right, fine. >> i'm not hungry. i'm not hungry. heat whatever you want. >> fine, whatever. i think it is awesome. i am glad they did that. if -- they didn't stay together for you or me. they were together for a longtime. they called it quits and that's it. i am sick of people having to be happy if other people are happy. oh they have been together for 30 years so it does work. it works if it works for you. it doesn't matter what they did. this they are probably still friends and now he finally gets to get "always sunny in philadelphia" tail which he deserves. >> that's what it is about. he got famous with a young group of people, and that's what it is about. bill? >> no one was more sad than
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me, sorry to outdo your phrase, to learn of the break up of dye yaw rhea. diarrhea. danny do vee tau and then rhea, that's the name of the couple. it makes so much more sense than yours does and it will be on every headline tomorrow. you are welcome, new york post. >> why not dan-area. >> my heart goes out to diarrhea's kids. >> i have nothing to say. >> she is still mad. >> aside from the fact that i am brilliant with coming up with this fore play. >> i am just saying. we have to take a break. a hard-hitting interview with robert kelly and joe derosa about their new book.
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the guys are scoring on the side, a book no one asked for by barely literal guys. i speak of "cheat, the guide to a man's infidelity." two of the authors are with us tonight. let's ask them why they are such terrible human beings. this book, i read it.
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i was disgusted, but i blurred it because i found it funny. but it was deplorable. >> here is the thing. this topic, if you are going to talk about it, you have to do it honestly. we did it in a hilarious way. >> but people who read it have to then say, i am disgusted by it, while they are reading it. >> very few people are saying that. most people say it is a relevant book and a good source for commentary. we are not telling you to cheat, greg. we are just telling you how to. >> if you are going to cheat, don't get caught. don't lose the woman you love. >> are you ruining lives. >> is it possible to get the abject look of disgust off sandra's face. >> if she read this book -- this is the best part of the book. women who read this book with a sense of humor, who are not -- you know, the middle ages who have a sense of humor love this book, laugh and also hate us. >> what happened with the girl with the milk shake and she was saying the milk shake was too big?
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>> the what? >> this is not "there will be blood." this is something entirely different. >> this is what happens when women read this book. they lose their minds. >> sorry i am not familiar with the one phrase you saw when you were thumbing through the book. >> i do have a question. how do you explain when certain things are found, like you find a hair extension or a scrunchy? do you tell guys how to get around that? >> we actually say you get to take an hour shower and scour. you can't just have a girl, mess around and then think you -- you have to clean the place like you are dexter. hazmat suit, right? lines coming out of yarn to where things went. >> this book is highly offensive. every word of it. >> i'm sure it is such a fair read in the last 25 seconds.
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>> i guarantee if you read this you would -- this is you reading this book. >> this is offensive. when you are messing around on your chick you must your phone on helen keller mode? really? >> that means silent. >> but you bring up a -- you had to explain the joke to her. >> put your head down. we are almost done. >> i so can't come back on this show. >> why? >> look what you have done. >> greg, your question raises a great point. it says does it tell you what to do when these things are found? what this book is telling you, don't get to the point where it gets found. here is how you take care of everything. execute the strategy properly. at the end of the day, if you are doing this, do it right. if not you will ruin lives and hurt people and you will lose things. >> what makes you experts? >> they cheat a lot. >> don't go on a tv show and
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talk about writing a book on cheating. >> i think any guy could write this book. think about bank robbers that were caught, went to jail and then wrote a book on how to rob a bank. >> that's a good blush. >> that's all we did. >> are you targeting men or women. >> women should read this too? this too. your husband says, hey, i am going to brazil again. really? then you will maybe know -- you read the chapter on cheating out of the country and you will know jie. he does go to brazil. >> there are no golf courses in brazil. >> hate to accuse you of snap choices, but a man's guide to infidelity. we are given more of a once through. >> i guarantee if you read this book you would still hate us. >> absolutely.
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>> i don't hate. >> but you would laugh. you have a sense of humor. you would laugh at some stuff. not all stuff. you would learn from this book too. >> go out and ask your husband if you can barrow his cell phone tomorrow. see what his reaction is. >> stop it. >> do you think this guy's husband would ever cheat on sandra? >> are you out of your mind? >> if he goes, here, honey, you can use it. he is a good man. if he throws it out the window and says it is broken, there is a problem. >> i don't see how. >> robert kelly and joe derosa's book is now available. check out cheat, a man's we will close things up with we will close things up with andy levy.
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game wrap up. >> i find the whole notion of